Secondly, everyone needs to have boundaries that are based on respect for self and others.  It is common to become too permeable to what others think of you, how they speak to you, and forget how to stay engaged while standing up for yourself .  Just the opposite, some people disengage and wall off from the feedback of others, because they are flooded by the intensity of the interchange.  In this case, one needs to learn how to create safety and remember personal choices.  By learning to read signals of distress in the body, research shows that we can self-soothe and speak more calmly in these situations.  When communication is enhanced, we feel confident, have greater energy for engaging challenges positively, intelligently and creatively.  Learning to stay calm and respectful is key.

Suggested Reading

Restoring Pride, Richard Taylor
Necessary Losses, Judith Viorst
The Birth of Pleasure, Carol Gilligan
Flow, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
A Joseph Campbell Companion, edited by Diane Osbon
Modern Man in Search of a Soul, Carl Jung
Essence, A.H. Almaas
The Hidden Messages in Water, Masuru Emoto
Soul Without Shame, Byron Brown
The Voice of Knowledge, don Miguel Ruiz
The Mastery of Love, don Miguel Ruiz
Transitions, William Bridges
The Way of Transitions, William Bridges
Contemplation in Action, Richard Rohr & Friends
Time to Think, Nancy Kline
Crucial Conversations, Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, Al Switzler